Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: BE YOUR ...

Self-Esteem is much more than Self-Confidence.?

The word ?esteem? is derived from the Latin word?aestimare?which means ?to put a value on?.?

Thus, your ?Self Esteem? is the ?value you put on yourself?. Your self-esteem is your conviction that you are uniquely valuable. When you have high self-esteem you will have the capacity to live creatively, stand by your values, beliefs and principles, and you will have the competence to accomplish something vital to your individuality.

Is it possible to assess self-esteem??

How do you recognize whether a person has self-esteem. Persons with high self-esteem do not need to prove themselves. Yes, if you have high self-esteem you do not feel the need to prove yourself to the outside world ? you do not need to prove yourself to others.

Conversely?persons with low self-esteem will be observed trying to prove themselves?? they boast, put others down, show off, drop names, speak excessively and always talk about their themselves and try to hog the conversation, they keep telling you about their achievements and display snobbish behaviour.?

People with low self-esteem?are extremely?self-conscious about their appearanceand?desperately fish for compliments?and are?unduly concerned?about what other people think about them.?

They may talk in an imperative tone of voice, try to pull rank and emphasize their authority and show-off their status, position or wealth, act in a boastful manner, always seem ?keyed up? and move around in an excited manner as if in a perpetual hurry ?to get the job done? and try to ?dominate? others.?

Look around your workplace and among your friends.?

If you observe someone behaving in this way be sure that he or she has low self-esteem.

Close your eyes and recall some of your own interactions in the recent past, professional and social, at work and with your friends. Imagine as if you have gone outside your body and you are watching yourself from the outside as you interact and converse with others.?

Reflect and Introspect:?Did you display any indicators of low self-esteem??

Remember, an important internal indicator of low self-esteem is that you feel excessively self-conscious?as you try to "prove yourself" to others?around?you wondering what they think about you and this sometimes causes you to feel internally stressed-out.

You can recognize individuals with high self-esteem by their body language.?

When they speak to you they make?good eye contact?and they are relaxed, calm, measured in movement, yet firm and decisive.?

A person with good self-esteem?will exhibit a quiet confidence and?will not fish for compliments, but if you do compliment them they will say ?Thank You? and accept your compliment with politeness and humility.?

They are honest, humble and modest and are genuinely interested in other people and their achievements.?

They do not bother about external recognition as they have confidence in their own abilities. Persons with high self esteem are always genuine and never ?fake it?.

The bedrock of self-esteem is self-acceptance.?

If you have high self-esteem you will accept yourself as you are and you will not indulge in ?image management?.?

Hence you will never be afraid of being ?found out? since you will always project what you actually are since you don?t have to ?prove yourself? to others. ? People with?low self-esteem?who are always desperate to ?prove themselves? and impress others often fall prey to?image management?techniques and since they try to project an exaggerated or contrived (fake) image of themselves they always live under the fear of being found out.

Do you want to enhance your self-esteem??

It is simple.?

Just?start liking yourself.?

First accept yourself as you are and then learn to like yourself.?

Don?t bother about proving yourself to others.?

Take pride in your individuality.?

Be your own hero.?

Start enjoying yourself, be proud of yourself, and when you feel you have done something good, don?t seek praise from others but reward yourself for what you do and praise yourself.?

Remember to do this in all aspects of your life ? at work and in your personal life as well.

Continual self-evaluation, self-acceptance and self-reward will produce a paradigm shift in your behaviour from being other-directed to being inner-directed.?

As you build up your self-esteem you will develop a strong sense of self.?

You will start liking yourself and will start believing in yourself. If you do not learn to reinforce yourself and if you succumb to the temptations of image management to seek approval of others and get obsessed with ?proving yourself? you may fall into the downward spiral of low self-esteem.

I will end with a quote from Samuel Butler:

The advantage of doing one?s praising for oneself is that one can lay it on so thick and exactly in the right places.

?? ??

? vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Source: http://karvediat.blogspot.com/2012/08/be-your-own-hero-it-is-all-about-self.html

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