Comedy Central
By Chiderah Monde
If our late night shows were a party, then Mitt Romney would have been the life of it?last night. ?
Everyone had to acknowledge the fact that he'd just made history by winning both Iowa and New Hampshire, but nobody seemed happy about it. ?
Millard?Mittington Romney -- as he is so affectionately known?by Jon Stewart -- won the majority of the primary votes by a comfortable margin. The "Daily Show" host pointed out that despite the impressive win, no one actually?likes him. ? ?
Stewart was, however, amused by Romney's sons and how they resembled an Osmond tribute band. ?
In his speech, Romney came down hard on President Obama for the pomp and promises he made back in '08, but?he's been busy making his own promises -- a tiny government, a balanced budget and a giant, invincible army.?This is Sparta all over again, Stewart concluded. ? ?
On the "Colbert Report," Stephen Colbert embraced that he will be?having an?arranged marriage to Mitt Romney. He?is the favorite; he's inevitable. He is a juggish-naught. "President Romney ... it could work," Colbert pondered, and he proceeded to accept his fate as an Indonesian 12-year-old girl whose hand had been given away. ?
On "The Tonight Show," Jay Leno talked about?how New Hampshire just wasn't a good showing for Perry. With only 1% of the? votes, he couldn't even beat low-fat milk.?
"On behalf of the 99% of the votes you didn't get," Leno said, "please quit." ?
"Late Show" host David Letterman admitted he was only half paying attention. Jimmy?Fallon?explained to his "Late Night" audience that?Mitt won because?there's no one else. And Jimmy Kimmel spent most of his politics talk on Newt Gingrich's anti-Romney ads: Newt knows bologna. He loves bologna, but not the pious type.
According to Kimmel, Gingrich's latest ad should read: "Mitt Romney ... the wrong kind of bologna."
From here, it's smooth sailing on to South Carolina.
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